Umm, So I Got Ordained

I did.  I did.  No, really.  I up and decided to get ordained.  As of November 5, 2010, I am Rev. sandi.  Is that weird, since i'm not religious?  Or am i?  Am i an atheist, or a humanist or both?  Am i pantheist?  Am i an atheistic panting human? 

Dear unicorns, i just don't know. 

But in all seriousness, i'm sorta feeling a desire to put myself into some sort of box since getting ordained.  I feel as if i need some sort of religious definition, which is what i've wanted to avoid since leaving Motown. 

So, i'm not gonna do it.  No defining.  I'm pro-human.  That's it.  And i got ordained so that when Arizona legalizes gay marriage, i will be able to perform ceremonies.  This will make me very happy.

Watch Out For Atheists!

Apparently atheists are crotchety old goats in bathrobes, holding cups of (oh no!) coffee. As the (please say you're fucking kidding me) Spiritual Safety Tip poster says, you should avoid talking to these "poor lost souls." Hey, i have a better idea! LET'S BURN THEM AT THE STAKE!

Nah, religion's not dangerous. It doesn't promote hatred or fear. There are no hypocrisies involved in practicing religion. Religious folk are tolerant of both other religions AND those who choose NOT to subscribe, right? All the time and money spent on making stupid shit like the poster below is perfectly justified, right? It's for the protection of our children, should those goat-like old atheists lash out at them!

Last time i checked, "freedom of religion" also meant freedom FROM religion if one so chooses. Freedom from a god of any sort, as a matter of fact. But fear is a powerful weapon and as long as religious leaders are serving up heaps of it to the masses, we will continue to see idiocies like this poster and millions of dollars will be spent by various religious organizations to ensure people remain fearful of those who are "different."

Sounds very loving and kind, doesn't it? (Yes, i'm dripping with sarcasm; it's part of the healing process. Someday i may repost this, but say it nicely and more straight-forward. Until then, sarcasm is what's for dinner!)

Great Quote from Brigham Young

‎"If there ever comes a day when the Saints interfere with the rights of others to live as they see fit, you can know with assurance that the Church is no longer led by a Prophet, but a mere man." - Brigham Young

The Post-Packer LGBTQ Post

I said it on my not-anonymous blog, which is here:

http://crapstain.blogspot.com/2010/10/driving-in-second-gear.html

The Polygamous Wonders of the World

So, i hear there are people petitioning for the legalization of polygamy in these our grand United States.  I've generally always been of the "to each his or her own" mindset (except for certain embarrassing moments as a hive member), and i think i'm on board with polygamy being practiced by consenting, sane adults who, for whatever reason, want to have multiple spouses (spice?  like mouses and mice?).  I mean, really, i wouldn't mind having another husband or two.  Not that my Hubster leaves me wanting more; he's a wonderful partner/friend/lover/co-conspirator but maybe it could be fun and advantageous to have another husband.  Oh wait, what the hell am i thinking?  One's enough!  All i could really want is the occasional fling, and honestly, i'm getting too old to really give a shit about that anymore, anyway.  For me, it's more about freedom.  Freedom to be who i am and be loved for it is important to me.  But i digress....

What i'm really interested in seeing is how the LDS church responds if polygamy is legalized.  Will they begin practicing it again, since it was ONLY stopped because it was outlawed in the U.S.?  Will it be a commandment to the members of the faith? 

Whoo hoo!  I can't wait to see how this all unfolds!

Church Resignation Via Email?

It seems so!

http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/index.php/discussions/viewthread/23960/

Mormons Created Gay Men and Lesbians

I think gay people are nature's answer to the over-population our planet is facing because Mormons believe there are kolobillions of spirits waiting to be born into human bodies on Earth.  Nature, through homosexuals, is trying to cut down on births and thus save our planet.

But wait, wait, the irony continues.  Kind and loving gay couples who want to adopt a baby unwanted by its bio parents often can't.  Back in the late 1990's, my boss was a smart and artsy lesbian who had been in a monogamous relationship for 20 years.  She and her partner wanted to adopt a baby who had been born with AIDS.  They were denied because they were lesbians.  They were denied because religious homophobes would rather a baby with AIDS be alone, possibly die alone, rather than live in a loving family just because that family happened to have two mothers instead of a mother and a father.  But it's okay to put that baby into a household of people who will raise him or her to judge, to condemn, to believe all sorts of wackaloonery (thank you, Amy, for that word). 

What a crazy, crazy world in which we live!

Today's AZ Ex-Mo Meeting...

...was fun and enlightening, just like the previous one.  There were about 10 of us, not a bad turnout considering it's a holiday weekend. 

One of the attendees shared her story of abuse with us.  Her abuse began in childhood and then she married an abuser.  They moved around a lot during their marriage and each Bishop the wife confided in fed her the same church-manual bullshit:  she's not doing something right, she's causing the abuse, divorce is unfavorable, support the husband and he'll be happier, blah blah.  Cripes, that really gets my goat!

I shudder to think of the number of abused women (and children!) in the LDS church who keep quiet because they've either been told to keep quiet (we don't want anyone in the real world to know these things happen among our perfect members!) or been blamed for the fact that it's happening to them.  I would like to see some statistics on that. 

The Book of Mormon vs. The Harry Potter Series

A dear friend of mine has been listening to my rants about the Mo's and asking questions here and there.  A question she posed over the past weekend was how could Joseph Smith have written such a complex book as the Book of Mormon.  I told her the Harry Potter series was far more complex than the BoM.  And truly, it is!  Let's take a look-see (we won't even need a peep stone!):

Total pages in the Book of Mormon:       531
Total pages in the Harry Potter series:  4,175

Number of characters (people), including very minor instances in the BoM:  140
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Harry_Potter_characters

Number of characters (people), including very minor instances in the HP series:  >700 (I lost count, but you can go see by clicking the link below)
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Harry_Potter_characters )

Not to mention the hundreds of spells J.K. Rowling kept track of, along with events, descriptions of places, etc. 

So, could the Book of Mormon been completely made up by Joseph Smith?  Please.

A Little Humor at the Expense of Mo's

Embarrassed and Ashamed

Yesterday I attended an LDS funeral (for a 2-year-old, which should just not happen).  The stories from the grandparents were sweet.  The words from the parents were painful.  And sadly, the stake president (and the bishops who spoke) were completely embarrassing.  I wanted to crawl under my chair and hide there.

There were many non-LDS (including myself) at the service.  When the stake president proceeded to turn his talk into a "missionary opportunity" and proceed to tell everyone that he was raised Baptist and that they're just plain wrong and that all other religions don't have the truth, I felt horrible for the entirety of the people.  What a pompous ass.  The bishops weren't any better. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to have so willingly been associated with that group for so long.   

I'm sure those words brought a lot of comfort to my friends who lost their sweet boy much too early in life, so I will let my anger go, but this experience has driven a wedge even further between me and the so-called church.

There's no way I'll be able to tolerate any further of the hubster's family's monthly Mo meetings.  (Hubster has never wanted to go, so it's easy for him to just skip out, laughing all the way).  That's going to cause a load of trouble with the in-laws, but I feel I'm very prepared for that fight.  I've been doing a lot of reading and listening lately.  I'm in the midst of Rough Stone Rolling and can only say WOW.  If that book doesn't reveal Joseph Smith as a horny conman, I don't know what does.  And it was written by a TBM!  Woot!

I Just Read Book of Mormon Tories

I met the author of the article on this page at the exmo meeting I attended last Sunday. His name is Thomas E. Donofrio.  He's super smart, very nice, and intriguing to listen to on matters of the the Mormon Myth (and other things, I'm sure, but we didn't get to those things). 

It was amazing reading the article and seeing the linguistic comparisons between the BoM and Mercy Otis Warren's History of the Rise, Progress, and Termination of the American Revolution.  You should read it, if you haven't visited already.

oh my unicorn! the bishop turned the mic off during this guy's testimony re: Prop 8

He's my hero. Seriously.

my first ex-mo meeting

Today, the hubster, the 16-yo, the 4-yo and i went to our first Ex-mo gathering.  It was really fun!  We met lots of interesting, intelligent, friendly folk and had great conversation.  We plan to attend more, just to be in the midst of lively conversation about the very fascinating topic of the Morgue.

Before we left, we were reading the message boards over at http://www.exmormon.org/ and came across a thread about Mark Hofmann and the counterfeit documents he sold to the LDS Church.  Wow, what an interesting situation.  A guy counterfeits and forges a butt-load of documents relative to the Mormons, one of them even saying that Joseph Smith had conversations with a SALAMANDER and the "prophet" of the church ate it up and even paid tons of our good tithe money to purchase the fake documents. 

What does this say? 

It says, that the "prophet" of the church was not a prophet, seer and revelator with the gift of discernment like the church claimed he was, or else he wouldn't have shelled out ass-loads of our hard-earned money to buy such ridiculous documents.

she didn't have the fortitude

A month or so ago, a Facebook friend of mine (we'll call her Wilma) whom I really only know from several wards ago, posted on her status that she was sad and disappointed because a non-member friend of hers who'd been taking the discussions had suddenly quit taking them and had no further interest in learning about the church.  Wilma said "Oh well.  She doesn't have the fortitude to endure to the end so I guess it's best to find out now." 

I was floored!

That's one of the most judgmental statements I've ever seen or heard and is complete bullshit.  I resisted the urge to comment that perhaps the "investigator" had read some REAL facts about the church or didn't think Joseph Smith's polygamy was God-approved.  I held my fingers and typed nothing. 

Next time, I just might let it fly.

Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling { i'm reading it } and Mormon Sex

i went to B&N last night and bought a copy of Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling.  Whether you think the man was a fraud or a Prophet of God, you have to admit, he's a fascinating character.  I think i could crush on him a little bit and would probably have wanted to be one of his wives back in the day.  Not for spiritual reasons; i'm just a horn-dog and am attracted to those charismatic types.

Which brings me to the next topic:  Mormon Sex, and in particular, Mormon Sexual Issues.  I've been reading a lot of "exit stories" from former members of the church and stumbled across one a couple days ago that made me really sad.  It was written by a guy who, in the almost decade of his marriage, had only had sex with his wife about a dozen times.  She discovered on their wedding night that she "didn't like sex," and so, withheld it except to procreate--which, of course, she's required to do by the Hive.  Populate the earth and all that crap.  The husband and author of the story said that he believed his wife's frigidity was caused by the church's teachings (via her bio family) and the guilt they instill in the minds of the youth. 

That reminded me of a guy who worked in an office building where i worked several years ago.  We'll call him Steve (not his real name).  Everyone in the building knew that Steve had had sex with his wife exactly 4 times.  They had exactly 4 kids.  They were both born and raised in the LDS church.  Steve was soooo unhappy in his marriage.  He tried to convince himself that sex didn't really matter that much to their relationship, that he loved his wife and felt whole and complete and happy.  If that were the case, of course, none of us would have had to endure the endless harping and woeful moaning over his non-existent sex life.  Poor bastard. 

I wonder how many LDS couples suffer from a nearly non-existent sex life, or a less than ideal one at best. 

magical thinking

i've been reading about "magical thinking," and WOW! what an interesting phenomenon.  It's what makes cults (and Santa) possible.  It's believing in something despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  It's what makes good little Mormons everywhere (i hope to lose the anger and sarcasm soon, by the way).  Then again, they aren't allowed to read the actual facts about the Church that disprove it, and if they do happen to come across it, they are told it's false and just another attempt by Satan to thwart the Church. 

i like magical thinking, though, so i think i'll continue it to a degree.  i think i'll believe in witchcraft and wizardry and hope to wind up at Hogwart's someday.  That would freaking ROCK!

she Almost Had It

The friend I mentioned yesterday who sent me a long email saying I was self-destructing b/c I left the LDS Church admitted in the letter (first thing, actually) that she had delayed sending the letter because she was afraid it would damage our friendship.  What strikes me as extremely interesting and relative here is that HER OWN INNER INSTINCTS told her that sending that email would be the WRONG thing to do, but she sent it anyway. WHY?  Why did she send it anyway, knowing it was the wrong thing to do?  BECAUSE THE LDS CHURCH PROGRAMS ITS MEMBERS TO RESPOND THAT WAY.  If they are obedient little members, they are COMPELLED to try to bring strays back to the Hive.  The Borg mind must stay as one!  She was soooo close to having her own thoughts.  Tsk.  Pity she caved in and followed the Hive.

But maybe that's what she needs to survive.  She's been in the Hive mentality for so long that I'm not sure she would survive psychologically in the real world.

harassment by members of the LDS "Mormon" church

I've just had the weirdest argument with a member about judgment and living "Gospel standards."  She does judge and she doesn't fully live Gospel standards, but she's lecturing me about leaving the church and says I'm "self destructing" and following Satan.  Apparently, my 123 IQ score isn't high enough for me to be able to think for myself or make my own decisions.

I am sooo annoyed. 

But her behavior helped me see that the LDS church really is a cult.  How did i not see it before?  It's so effing clear now!  I'm just amazed.  I really am.

leaving the LDS "Mormon" Church

when i publicly announced on my main personal blog that i had made the decision to not return to the LDS Church, i asked that my LDS friends please refrain from the crap that normally goes on when someone leaves the fold, i.e. the drama, gossiping, contemplating WHY OH WHY, and all that other bullshit.  And for the love of god (if there is one--i now have to re-figure that all out), please don't try to get me to go back.

Could they do it?  Could they honor me just that one simple request?  Oh hell no!  Of course not!  I feel like i'm trying to escape from a cult for fuck's sake!  I've already been accused of being led by Satan.  Well, WHOO HOO!  (Oh yeah, well i once dreamed of Satan.  He was chasing me through the woods.  He was bald, muscley, and hot.  There's no point to that.  Just thought I'd say.)

Two of my friends (if they still are, since apparently all we may have had in common was "Church") have already admitted to spending a day crying over my leaving.  Why do you think that is?  Because you're so brainwashed in the LDS Church that if anyone thinks differently, they're DOOMED?  Well, fuckstain, it shouldn't upset them so much, since even if I don't make it into the Celestial Kingdom, I'll still go to the next one down, which is more wonderful and fantastic than anything we could ever possibly imagine here on Earth.  So what's the big fucking deal?!  Could their upsettedness (yes, i'm so annoyed i'm making up words!) have anything to do with the fact that their own belief hinges heavily on everyone else's, even though they can't see that?

Do i sound annoyed?

WELL I AM!

Have a nice day.

just because

this blog is where i will vent and say strange things. 

or maybe i'll neglect it like a red-headed stepchild.

i just don't know.

but today i'm annoyed and want a place to vent.

but not that i'm here, i find i'm too annoyed to say the things i really want to say.

conundrum.