"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining!"

That's what the LDS "Mormon" church does to keep its members compliant and in the dark. Examples: The Book of Abraham, the Salamander Letters, Joseph Smith's marriages to already-married women...the list goes on.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Today's AZ Ex-Mo Meeting...

...was fun and enlightening, just like the previous one.  There were about 10 of us, not a bad turnout considering it's a holiday weekend. 

One of the attendees shared her story of abuse with us.  Her abuse began in childhood and then she married an abuser.  They moved around a lot during their marriage and each Bishop the wife confided in fed her the same church-manual bullshit:  she's not doing something right, she's causing the abuse, divorce is unfavorable, support the husband and he'll be happier, blah blah.  Cripes, that really gets my goat!

I shudder to think of the number of abused women (and children!) in the LDS church who keep quiet because they've either been told to keep quiet (we don't want anyone in the real world to know these things happen among our perfect members!) or been blamed for the fact that it's happening to them.  I would like to see some statistics on that. 


  1. What do you know, I just got back from a San Francisco ex-Mormon meeting, logged on and read this post. Sorry to hear about the abuse story. At our meeting we talked about some ex-Mormons we knew who committed suicide. But there was some fun too, at the expense of the Lord's annointed, of course. Great not having to act like perfect members anymore, don't you think?

  2. Oh I just hate suicide! Not that anyone loves it, but it's a particular bummer for me. My dad committed suicide when he was 53 (i was 12). We weren't members then (i joined when i was 21). I think he had late-onset schizophrenia. So, these ex's who committed suicide...does anyone know why? Was it church related?

    Thank goodness there was fun, too. It would suck to leave off on a depressing note. And hellz bizzle yizzle YES it's lovely not having to try to appear the perfect "saint" day in and day out. Life is so much more colorful now :o)

  3. Is that really the recommended advice in the Bishop's Handbook? That is terrible. But, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. Blaming the victim is typical patriarchal bullshit. Rape victims take the blame in the Bible so I suppose they think they are justified. Oh this just makes me incredibly angry.

  4. I would love to get my hands on that handbook! This happened to her over a decade ago, so I can only hope that these sorts of things are dealt with better now.

  5. It's hard to say if the suicides were directly church related, but it's also hard to say that the church didn't play a role. I mean, being depressed sucks even more if you're a Mormon, or an ex-Mormon in a TBM family. The TBM funerals for these poor souls were pretty painful to endure also. I agree, I hate suicide, and mental illness, and abuse, and the LDS Church sucks at dealing with all three. Thank god for ex-Mormon parties!

  6. Mormons seem to think that having a lay clergy is the awesomest for some reason. I never understood that. This is an especially bad idea when it comes to the position of Bishop. The leaders of congregations in other faiths go to seminary or equivalent and are trained, not just in their faith, but to deal with the horrible confessions that they hear. Many are actually trained as counselors. Mormon Bishops get no such training. And, they still have to keep their day jobs despite the insane hours that go into being a Bishop and being basically on-call. It's a bad idea and these sorts of things are bound to happen. I think the Mormons would be better off having "Bishop" be not called, and a more permanent fixture in a ward. The turnover every few years is jarring.

    That said, I think going to ones religious leader for therapy, marital advice or counseling, or abuse is just a bad idea, regardless of your faith. Sure mention to you Bishop/Priest/Pastor/Rabbi that you are in therapy, but don't rely on them for therapy. Report abuse to a religious leader, but first, report it to the police or someone legally bound to report it to police.

  7. Yes, absolutley...go to an authority before the Bishop, but the church doesn't want that, because then it would be harder to cover up all the crap that really goes on in the church.

    They use lay clergy so they don't have to pay them, then use biblical scripture as the reason for not paying them. Such bull-hockey!