i went to B&N last night and bought a copy of Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling. Whether you think the man was a fraud or a Prophet of God, you have to admit, he's a fascinating character. I think i could crush on him a little bit and would probably have wanted to be one of his wives back in the day. Not for spiritual reasons; i'm just a horn-dog and am attracted to those charismatic types.
Which brings me to the next topic: Mormon Sex, and in particular, Mormon Sexual Issues. I've been reading a lot of "exit stories" from former members of the church and stumbled across one a couple days ago that made me really sad. It was written by a guy who, in the almost decade of his marriage, had only had sex with his wife about a dozen times. She discovered on their wedding night that she "didn't like sex," and so, withheld it except to procreate--which, of course, she's required to do by the Hive. Populate the earth and all that crap. The husband and author of the story said that he believed his wife's frigidity was caused by the church's teachings (via her bio family) and the guilt they instill in the minds of the youth.
That reminded me of a guy who worked in an office building where i worked several years ago. We'll call him Steve (not his real name). Everyone in the building knew that Steve had had sex with his wife exactly 4 times. They had exactly 4 kids. They were both born and raised in the LDS church. Steve was soooo unhappy in his marriage. He tried to convince himself that sex didn't really matter that much to their relationship, that he loved his wife and felt whole and complete and happy. If that were the case, of course, none of us would have had to endure the endless harping and woeful moaning over his non-existent sex life. Poor bastard.
I wonder how many LDS couples suffer from a nearly non-existent sex life, or a less than ideal one at best.
I wonder about this stuff too. Because I know that plenty of mormons have reasonably interesting sex lives. So, why is it that some have these weird, unhealthy feelings about sex? I have to wonder if, in this case, it has more to do with the messages they get at home. I definitely got some fairly rigid messages about sex outside of marriage at church, but the messages I got at home were fairly healthy, I think.
ReplyDeleteI think it could definitely be coming from home, or perhaps those people most affected have read LDS literature along the lines of The Miracle of Forgiveness. I remember reading that and thinking HOLY FUCK. Mormons would rather their offspring DIE than have pre-marital sex (and it's just as bad to think about it as to actually do it)? If that's the case, and that's the general attitude of the Church, then teens are required to expend so much energy repressing their sexual thoughts and feelings, that by the time they're married and it's "okay" to have sex, their minds are already so programmed to surpress it that to let it come forth feels wrong. I dunno. I think it in part might depend on how seriously a person takes the dogma in the first place. I'm sure there are plenty of people who've never been plagued by religion who have sexual hangups too. But I would be willig to bet good, green bucks that it happens more in hardcore religious folk.
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